medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later
when the teacher asks you to answer the question because you weren’t paying attention but you know the answer
Ravenclaws that go through existential crises every other week because of things they’re reading though
- like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE POTIONS HOMEWORK? I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER OTHER MEANS OF TORTURE ARE ACTUALLY MORE ETHICAL THAN THE CRUCIATUS AND IF NOT THEN WHY ARE THEY LEGAL”
- or “I AM CALLING OFF QUIDDITCH PRACTICE TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHY QUIDDITCH IS DIVIDED BY HOUSES”
- or “I CAN’T GO TO RUNES BECAUSE I AM TOO UPSET ABOUT WITCH HUNTS IN THE MIDDLE AGES; IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE JUST IMAGINE IT”
- or “BUT WHY IS OUR CURRENCY SO ILLOGICAL CAN’T WE FIX IT”
- or “HOW DOES MAGIC GET PASSED DOWN BUT THEN ALSO APPEAR AT RANDOM NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN IT IS IT IN OUR BODIES OR IN OUR MINDS OR WHAT” (just calm down and come to transfiguration okay) “I WILL NOT CALM DOWN AND I WILL NOT COME TO TRANSFIGURATION”
- "IF YOU VANISH A THING AND CONJURE IT AGAIN IS IT THE SAME MATTER" "IS IT THE SAME ESSENCE" (it’s okay. just vanish the pincushion) "IT’S NOT OKAY"
“He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn’t one.” -Terry Pratchett, Mort
THIS, OKAY. THIS FINALLY. THIS IS WHAT WE WOULD BE LIKE. THERE WOULD BE SCREAMING FIGHTS IN OUR COMMON ROOM BETWEEN NOT JUST THE MUGGLEBORNS AND THE WIZARDBORNS BUT ALSO BETWEEN THE LIBERTARIAN MUGGLEBORNS AND THE SOCIALIST MUGGLEBORNS WHILE THE WIZARDBORNS ARE LIKE WILL YOU SHUT UP WHO EVEN CARES, AT WHICH POINT BOTH KINDS OF MUGGLEBORNS TURN ON THE WIZARDBORNS TO SHOUT ABOUT WHY IT’S IMPORTANT.
Do you know how UPSET Ravenclaws would be about the pedagogy of Hogwarts in general but especially of History of Magic? THE GOBLIN WARS ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT THEY INFORM EVERY ASPECT OF OUR CURRENT NON-HUMAN POLICIES AND NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THEM BECAUSE BINNS IS SO BORING IT’S A TRAVESTY. ;-;
You know why the Beauxbatons liked the Ravenclaws? Because the Ravenclaws were the only House that knew Beauxbatons existed before the Tournament.
Went through a legit existential crisis over the vanishing/conjuring thing, because IF YOU CAN CONJURE KITTENS CAN YOU CONJURE PEOPLE?!
OH GOD BABY RAVENCLAWS HASHING OUT A THEORY OF THE SOUL IN RESPONSE TO CONJURING KITTENS. A BABY RAVENCLAW *TRYING* TO CONJURE A PERSON AND WHEN IT (presumably) FAILED TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY.
New sudden headcanon: in addition to answers to its riddles, their portrait guardian also accepted lamentations about their most recent philosophical puzzle.
Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:
I do notice my regulars. You guys are the best.
"Regulars" makes me feel like a bar-tender…
Wiping down my dash at the end of an evening, I see your read-more, over-hear your rant in the tags, so I pour you a drink.
"…what’s troubling you, kid?"
i love riding d*cks
HAHAHAHAHAH SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT SHE AND A FRIEND OF HERS ARE FAKING A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO TAKE HIM TO THIS HOUSE IN THE MOUNTAINS WHERE THEY HAVE YEARLY FAMILY REUNIONS BUT ONLY RELATIVES AND PARTNERS ARE ALLOWED
AND SHE’S LIKE YEAH SO WE ONLY HAVE TO ACT LIKE WE ARE A COUPLE BUT WE’RE NOT OF COURSE IT WILL BE FUN
HAHAHAHAHA M8 I HAVE READ ENOUGH FANFICTION TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
That last sentence.